How should a father handle teenagers, especially teenage boys?

In my experience it is not the boys who are hard from 13 to 19, it is the girls, and I know, because I have six girls, three of them teenagers right now. As toddlers the girls are easy and will sit and play with their dolls for hours; when they hit puberty it is night and day, moody, and somehow it is always your fault. The boys go with the flow and do not get very upset. When they were little, though, the boys were harder, all over the place, wanting to conquer the world at three years old. As teenagers it reverses. With my teenage boys I want to be a father but also a friend, and I can err on both sides: too friendly and they take advantage, too stern and I make demands out of line. You have to strike a balance. I let them know: I am your father, you had better respect me, and it sticks when I say it. But I also joke and enjoy their company. My own father came from an Italian generation where you did what the father said with no discussion, all stern and not much friend. Other fathers are wimps, afraid to discipline, too friendly, and the kids walk all over them, and that goes for mothers too. Both parents need the balance of authority and being a friend, confidant, counselor, and consoler. If your boys do not respect you, you will have big problems, because their respect is what lets you be friendly without being taken advantage of. So the first order of business is to let them know who is boss; make whatever threats you need to reach that plateau of respect, and then you can come on the friendly side.