How can you recognize the signs that you are not in a state of grace, and how do you know if you are being scrupulous?

You know you are not in a state of grace if you have committed a mortal sin, you know it is a mortal sin, and you find yourself not only failing to repent of it but actually wanting to do it again. In that case I would say you are not in a state of grace. But if you slipped and fell into mortal sin, you know it was evil, and you confess it right away, then you are in a state of grace, though you still need to go to the priest for confession. Scripture says God knows we are made of straw, that we are weak, but the other side of that coin is that He has given us the power not to sin, and that is a fact, because if it were not true God would not have said it. Yes, you can also be too scrupulous, wringing your hands over everything you do until that is all you think about. That is not normal either; God did not make us to be that way. There is a balance between presumption and scrupulosity that you have to maintain, and considering that we tend to give ourselves grace, it is not hard to reach that balance.